


We Are Not The Same, And Never Will Be

by KyoukaiKanata



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Break Up, Break Up Talk, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epic Friendship, Fluff, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 08:54:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24847126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyoukaiKanata/pseuds/KyoukaiKanata
Summary: When he looked back on it, he could admit he probably should have seen it was coming. For some reason that didn’t make it any the less painful. The phrase ‘we are not the same and never will be’ has never been more fitting.Or Lando loses Carlos to the toxicity of Ferrari, and as he grieves, he finds he is not alone. A fellow driver confirms this is the price to be paid for one of the greatest seats of them all, but shows that sometimes you can find love again elsewhere.
Relationships: Hinted Future Lando Norris/Daniel Ricciardo, Past Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr, Past Pierre Gasly/Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly/Max Verstappen
Comments: 12
Kudos: 99





	We Are Not The Same, And Never Will Be

**Author's Note:**

> This idea is purely the result of a bad mental health day a couple of weeks back where my brain decided no matter how bad the day was, there was still room for it to plot a fic.🤔 Luckily this became much more fluffy at the end when I finished it today in a much better mood 😂
> 
> **Thanks especially to the lovely Mone (simplyverstappen/verstappened on Tumblr) who came up with the idea of Dan being Lando's future partner when I was completely stuck as to who to pick.**
> 
> I hope you guys like this 🙂💙

It was the little things. The small things that at first, he hadn’t noticed. He hadn’t even begun to register them. They had so much else going on in their lives a lot of the time, there just hadn’t been the time to notice enough to comprehend what this might actually mean for the future.

He had noticed of course, that over the last few months there always seemed to have been an extra Ferrari commitment here and there. Noticed that Carlos had less and less time. That their nights together had gone from as many as possible to just a few here and there. The rare occasions where they could find the time together dwindling to less and less. They had tried to keep what they had going initially. He knew that. Even as angry as he was with Carlos now, he knew that.

But he never fully realised just how big the gap had grown. How much time had begun to change them, to change what they had, what they were. How much his new team had changed Carlos not only as a racer but as a person. As a man. As his man.

He hadn’t seen (or maybe had just unconsciously chosen not to see) just how dangerous that powerful Ferrari red could be. How all-consuming that powerhouse could become. How much it could begin to affect every aspect of one’s life until all that was left was a shadow of who that person had once been.

It was ironic, they had both been so excited when he had got the seat first of all. Thrilled that after all the hard work, the team swapping and the disappointment with Red Bull, that Carlos' efforts had finally paid off. That it had all been worth it and a top team had seen the potential in him that they both believed he deserved.

Until now. It was only now he could truly see what Carlos had become. What him being hired by Ferrari had truly cost them. Now as he read the messages, he never thought he would see. 

There had been no response to his last message, and he’d admit he didn’t think there would be. His answer was probably not the best for eliciting a decent response. In fact, he was aware he sounded a bit like a teenage girl. But he felt vulnerable. Like part of his identity had been torn away. He had been angry, shocked and he felt betrayed. Of all the things he had ever thought Carlos would do to him, this had not been it. Especially out of the blue, with no obvious or clear reason why. He just hadn’t seen this coming. He had given Carlos everything. He had let him see every part of him. Every part of him, even his virginity had gone to Carlos. But now, now it was over, just like that, with nothing left but the doubt and dark thoughts spiralling through his mind.

Slipping his phone back into his pocket, he closed his eyes trying to will the tears away and moved up off the sofa. He supposed at least he should be grateful Carlos had waited until the end of the race to break the bad news rather than before, which would have totally thrown him off his game and lead to a whole barrage of questions he wouldn’t have even begun to know how to answer.

As it was, he had already spent the last half an hour trying to pull himself back together in his drivers’ room, enough to at least leave this place. If he lingered much longer people would begin to come and check up to him, begin to ask questions, and that was the last thing he wanted. He needed to get out of here. Get back to his hotel room where at least there, drowned out in the noise of his shower, he could let go. Let his feelings out and begin to come to terms with all he had lost.

Moving out of his drivers’ room and out into the paddock, he lingered at the side lines as he weaved through everyone, sunglasses covering his eyes, and trying to avoid contact with as many people as possible as he moved towards the exit. His only wish was to get out as quickly and quietly as possible. He had had enough drama already today. He just wanted to run, he just wanted to escape from the avalanche of emotions that was threatening to almost overwhelm him.

Thank god at least the race was done, he had fulfilled the last of his McLaren duties for the weekend and the summer break was now upon them. At least he could escape from here and have a few days break to try to pull himself back together. God even the thought of having to face the media, face the fans, in this state made him feel sick. But not as sick as, looking up, the sight in front of him made him.

He should have known that sometimes what you wish for doesn’t happen and the one person he had been desperately hoping to avoid would, of course, appear in front of him in the three minute route it took from the McLaren building, and down through the circus, to escape out of the paddock.

Carlos was, luckily at least facing away from him as he walked down the paddock with his current teammate. Charles was gesturing wildly in the air and almost shouting about something (he was too far behind them to hear exactly what), but it was Carlos’ reaction that hurt the most. He was laughing, joking around with Charles as well and there didn’t visibly seem to be any of the inner turmoil that was plaguing Lando.

Who was he? When had this happened? Did he really mean so little to him? Did what they have, what he thought they had, mean so little to him?

The Carlos he thought he knew wouldn’t have been seen laughing and joking around with a teammate less than 30 minutes after breaking up with his long-term boyfriend of over two years. Surely?

But the sight was there in front of him. As clear as day, and that was almost the most heart-breaking bit of it all. The normality. The continuation as if nothing had happened. The fact it seemed as though what they had, had clearly meant nothing to Carlos. Or worse, it hadn’t even affected him at all. When did he become that unlovable? What was the point Carlos had stopped thinking of him like that? Had he ever even thought of him like that? Or had it just been a joke? He honestly didn’t know anymore and that was the most frightening thing of all. What else hadn’t he known?

He felt like he was frozen in time, a thousand and one emotions flooding through him as the sight in front of him seemed to be the final straw in controlling his emotions. Dropping his head, he stopped in a doorway and wiped a hand across his eyes, desperately trying to pull his thoughts together. He couldn’t walk down the paddock with the look of despair (that he knew would be showing on his face) just because that’s what he was feeling. God everyone would stop within about 10 seconds if they saw that and start asking questions, and he couldn’t have that. He couldn’t deal with that.

He had to pull himself together. Somehow. Anyhow. He could feel the emotions cascading over him, the tears burning behind his eyes as he desperately tried not let them escape. He could feel his breathing starting to quicken, panic beginning to set in as he desperately tried to pull his face back together, to think of something, anything, to stop the flood of pain and tears that was burning through him. He couldn’t start crying, not now, not here in the centre of the paddock in front of the whole world to see. He just had to hang on, get back to the hotel, to his room, to sanctuary. Then he could snuggle into the mountain of sheets on his bed and cry. Then he could break. Then he could fall.

“Lando? Are you alright?”

The familiar voice, and a hand on his shoulder caused Lando to look up, and the gentle, concerned look on Pierre’s face in front of him was enough to break the dam. Before he even knew it, without even thinking about the fact he didn’t really know Pierre that well, at least, certainly not well enough to start crying on him, he broke. The tears began to fall behind his sunglasses, trickling down his face, and, as Pierre’s ocean blue eyes widened in shock, he pressed forwards into him and began to sob.

“Whoa, easy Lando, it’s alright, I’ve got you,” Pierre murmured, slipping his arm around Lando’s waist, his other hand resting on his neck and pulling him into a soft hug as Lando broke down on his shoulder.

He couldn’t seem to stop. God he knew he should, being so vulnerable and open, especially in such a public place was something no driver should be doing, but it was like once the dam had opened and the floodgates parted, he had no control anymore. Every thought, every emotion that he had felt since Carlos had sent that final message, seemed to morph and the emotional spiral was endless. He just hadn’t expected it, and so he had had no time to start to mentally prepare. To even begin to.

“Sssshhhh, it’s okay Lando, it’s gonna be alright, okay?” Pierre murmured his ear, running his hand up into his hair, carding through it and brushing some of the strands away from his eyes as Lando continued to sob into his shoulder.

“Come on, let’s just get out of here okay, I was going back to the hotel anyway. I’m not going to leave you alright.”

Tucking Lando into his side, Pierre turned him and began to walk, one arm firmly around his waist and letting Lando’s head bury itself into his shoulder as they moved. He must admit it was one time he wished he were more than an inch or two taller than Lando as it would have made it much easier and faster if he could carry him out. Lando was crying so much his entire body was trembling, he was all over the place in his despair and Pierre was genuinely beginning to worry about Lando’s safety, as he spied several people nearby look up and begin to take notice in the pair.

A sudden flash startled both of them, Lando actually whimpering and pressing closer into his side as Pierre glared protectively at the photographer, who had appeared out of nowhere, like they always seemed to, no doubt trying to take a picture to get the latest F1 gossip on the Motorsport media front pages. Pierre stepped forward, shielding Lando behind him, his protective look intensifying as the camera flashed several times in quick succession. If he wasn’t quick and careful about this, poor Lando’s crying face would be etched all over the front of every paper and magazine this photographer could sell to. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could two familiar faces got there first.

“Thanks, I was looking for a new camera, I’ll take that, we wouldn’t want anything inappropriate being spread around the paddock now would we.” Dan grinned, leaning over the top of him and using his height advantage to pluck the piece of equipment from the guy’s hands, pressing a series of buttons and deleting the contents instantaneously.

“Hey!” the cry from the photographer caught the attention of a few passers-by, but as he turned to argue and snatch the camera back, his face paled at the sight in front of him. Behind him Pierre cuddled Lando into his side again as he tried not to laugh. Max and Dan had appeared together behind the photographer and were clearly in protective mode. For all Dan’s permanent grin was on his face, there was steel in his and Max’s eyes and the two were using their height advantage and broader builds to great effect.

“Now then,” Dan spoke firmly, holding the camera high to prevent the photographer from snatching it back, “My suggestion is you take this camera and get out of here.”

“And a word of warning mate,” Max continued, “If we catch you trying to take a photo of either Pierre or Lando again, there will be words higher up.”

Nodding briskly, the guy didn’t even try to argue. The pure annoyance on their faces enough to prevent him from trying to challenge them. Knowing it was safer to walk away and keep his job, than fight and lose everything. He took the camera back from Dan and left, walking away quickly without looking back.

With the initial threat gone, Dan and Max looked back, eyes softening in sympathy at the sight before them. Lando’s crying had ceased for the most part, but he was still tucked into Pierre’s side, his body clearly shaking. Looking up from where he had been brushing some strands of hair of Lando's forehead, Pierre met their joint gaze, eyes clearly worried.

Moving forward they approached, "Lando, what's the matter?" asked Max, a worried frown deepening as he took in the sight of his distraught best friend, "What's wrong?"

Another shaky sob escaped Lando as he shook his head in Pierre's shoulder. His hand moved from where it had been curled in Pierre's shirt and reached up, but before he could clutch onto Pierre's shoulder, Max slipped in behind them. Slipping an arm around Pierre's waist and taking Lando's hand in his own, stroking his thumbs across the digits.

Dan moved in from the front, resting his hands on Lando's shoulders as between the three of them they bracketed him in, shielding him from view, protecting him.

"Carlos," was the solitary whisper from Lando, so quiet only Pierre heard him.

"Carlos?" Pierre asked confused, "What about him?"

A sharp growl-like noise escaped from Max, "He better not have hurt you."

Another shaky sob escaped Lando, but before he could respond Dan spoke, his expression uncharacteristically serious, "I think we should move and have this conversation in private. Whatever's happened we will deal with alright, but this isn't the place for this conversation."

Pierre nodded in agreement. "Lando," Pierre said, "Dan's right, let's just get out of the paddock and have this conversation okay. Do you think you can walk?"

"None of us are going to leave you mate alright," Max added, "Let's just get out of here."

Nodding shakily, Lando pulled out their embrace, Dan's arm immediately slinging over his shoulder as he tucked him into his side and turned them towards the paddock exit, Max and Pierre following.

The journey back to the hotel was a mainly silent one, Dan not taking his protective arm of Lando's shoulder throughout. Finally, they reached the hotel and a short ride in the lift later found them outside Lando's hotel room door. Lando fumbled the key card out of his pocket and swiped it, releasing the door and all four of them entered together.

Dan's arm fell of his shoulder as they entered and Lando said nothing simply walking over to his bed, and pulling his sunglasses of his face, throwing them onto the bedside table. Reaching the side of the bed, he kicked his shoes off and flopped down onto it, immediately burying himself in the covers, hiding his face into his pillow with a muffled groan.

Dan, Max and Pierre shared a concerned look between them, even though on the journey back Lando's tears had stopped, he still had not said a word to any of them, and whilst Lando wasn't the biggest talker in the world, he was normally never this quiet.

Dan's dark eyes shone with concern as he walked over and crouched down in front of the bed, taking hold of Lando's hand that was draped over the side, "Lando, it's Dan, what happened? Can you talk to us?"

Behind them Pierre and Max shared a look, and at a slight nod from Pierre, an understandingly worried look in his eyes, Max moved. Pressing a brief kiss to Pierre's cheek, before, taking his own shoes off, he walked around the other side of the bed and slipped into it, tucking his arms around Lando's waist as he pulled him back on the bed, allowing room for Dan and Pierre on both sides of them.

Lando still hadn't answered Dan, just gripped his hand tightly, but as Max tugged him back a little, Lando whimpered and Dan took it as his cue. Stroking Lando's hair from his face, he gently met his watery gaze, "Can I come and sit next to you Lando, we want to help, can I sit next to you and then you can tell us what's wrong?"

A shaky smile appeared on Lando's face as he nodded, trust Dan to be considerate enough to not even touch him without permission. At the sight, Dan gave him a thumbs up and sat down next him swinging his legs up onto the bed, but before he could take Lando' hand again, Lando moved, shifting so his entire side was pressed up against Daniel. Seeking comfort and security from the older man.

"Can I hug you Lando, you look like you could use a hug?" Dan asked gently.

At Lando's nod, he slipped his arm around his waist and pulled him so his head was resting on his shoulder, his arm slung across his chest. Max shifted, tucking in behind his best friend, as between them they became Lando's barricade against the world. Hearing further movement, Lando lifted his head of Dan's shoulder as Pierre appeared from the en-suite with a glass of water in his hands. Taking the glass from him, Dan held it out, smiling encouragingly as Lando took the glass and had a few sips, whilst Pierre crawled into the other side of the bed behind Max, leaning back against the headboard.

As Lando passed the glass back to Dan and he leant back to place it on the bedside table, Max spoke up from behind, "Lando, what happened with Carlos mate? What's wrong? Did Carlos hurt you?"

"Carlos dumped me," came the quiet reply. Lando's eyes closing tightly as he willed away the tears he could feel forming again behind his eyes.

"What!" Max cried out from behind. Leaning over Lando, he carefully turned his gaze to met his own, "That fucking prick, don't tell he broke up with you in the middle of the paddock."

Lando shook his head, "No, via text."

"I'm gonna fucking kill him!" snarled Max, eyes blazing protectively as he threw himself off the bed and went marching to the door.

"Max, no!" Pierre and Dan both shouted, Pierre jumping up and throwing himself in front of the door.

"Please Max, it won't help," Pierre said, "Please baby, I don't want to have to see you in another fight with a Ferrari driver. Please."

Behind them Lando and Dan both looked at each other surprised at the 'baby' comment.

Max stopped, taking in Pierre's concerned expression in front of him. Both of them were fully aware what had happened the last time a Ferrari driver had broken someone he cared about's heart, and it had ended up with a punched Charles Leclerc and Max nearly getting suspended from the sport, had Pierre not intervened. 

His eyes softened and his hand reached up, stroking the side of his cheek, Pierre stepping into his arms for a cuddle. He could feel the anger boiling beneath him, but rationally he knew Pierre was right. Besides if the way Dan was unconsciously looking at Lando was any indication, payback would not be his fight but Dan's. Nuzzling the side of Pierre's neck and tightening his arms around his waist he took a few calming breaths.

Carlos was a prick, but this wasn't about either him or Pierre. This wasn't like the last time when it had been a mortified, tearful Pierre in his arms and a flattened Charles Leclerc on the floor. This was about Lando, and they had to do what was right by him.

Pressing a brief kiss to Pierre's lips, he sighed and turned back, keeping an arm around Pierre's waist. Rolling his eyes at the teasing, "Something you want to tell us," that came from Dan. 

"Shut up Dan," Max rolled his eyes fondly, "We're together alright, have been for a while."

"You guys look good together," murmured Lando, from his position still resting in Dan's arms.

"Thanks Lando," Pierre smiled at him gently, leaning against Max's side, "But this isn't about us really. What happened with you and Carlos?"

Brushing a hand across the back of his eyes, wiping the last of the tears away, Lando sighed, sitting up. He felt emotionally exhausted but at least he wasn't alone.

"He dumped me via text after the race. I just," Lando shook his head, and sniffled, "I just didn't see it coming, although I guess thinking about it I should have."

"What makes you say that," Dan asked, sitting up and putting his arm around Lando's shoulder.

"Because I've barely seen him the last few months. It's like everything changed since he went to Ferrari, like" Lando paused, frustration visible as he tried to form the right words.

"Like he's become someone else. Someone you never thought you would see." Pierre said gently.

"Yeah," Lando nodded, "How did you know that?"

"Because Max and I got together after Charles did the same thing to me, only I suppose at least Carlos did it via text. Charles decided it would be a great idea to end our 3 year relationship out of the blue, right in the centre of the paddock."

"He did what?!" Dan exclaimed.

"He's a dick," Max stated bluntly, "enough said. But why did Carlos end it Lando, what did he say?"

“That we are not the same and never will be. That he needed to concentrate on his future. That Ferrari expected the world from him and that he needed more than what I could give him.”

Dan snorted behind him at the last bit, and Lando turned to look at him, hurt and pain visible on his face. Dan shook his head, “Oh Lando, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at him. At what he’s lost. He’s a bloody idiot if he thinks you couldn’t give enough. I know you and you would have given him more than enough. You never do anything by halves, least not a relationship.”

“Dan’s right mate,” whilst Dan had been talking, Max and Pierre had moved back onto the bed, Max curling up behind his best friend once again, “It’s his loss.”

“But”

“His loss,” Dan answered firmly, pressing a kiss of the side Lando’s head before he even thought about what he was doing.

Lando blushed at the action and even Dan flushed when he realised what he had done.

“Sorry, I”

“It’s okay,” Lando leant back against Dan’s side as he turned to face Max and Pierre.

“How did you deal with it Pierre, when Charles left you?”

Pierre chuckled, “I didn’t. At least not very well. I reacted much worse than you did. Being right in the middle of the paddock when he did it didn’t help. But what got me through it was I didn’t end up alone with my thoughts, plus Charles being punched was funny.”

“You punched Charles?” Lando and Dan’s eyes widened, and Pierre laughed, shaking his head, “I don’t think I could ever truly punch someone even if you paid me. No, Max did.” 

“Max, you punched him?!” Dan exclaimed as Lando began giggling.

“Yep, 100%. The prick didn’t even know what he hit him,” the smirk like grin that appeared on Max’s face was enough, and the next couple of minutes were filled with Lando and Dan’s laughter and Pierre leaning forward, kissing Max with a soft smile on his face.

After a few minutes, Pierre continued, “How I got through it Lando is I learned it’s the Ferrari view, and one of the reasons why it never worked out there for Seb. It’s the price of total dedication to the cause that Ferrari expect from their drivers, in order to have one the greatest seats of all time.”

“And it’s not healthy,” Max added.

“No, it’s not,” Pierre said, “That helped me understand that it wasn’t me that was the problem, it was Charles and Ferrari. It’s the same for you, except it’s Carlos. But that wasn’t the main reason I got through it.”

“What was?” Lando asked quietly, liking the feeling of security as Dan rested his head on top of his and kept his arm over his shoulder.

“Knowing that I wasn’t alone,” Pierre smiled, “That I had people around me to support me through the hard times and be there for the rest. Max punching Charles was just the start, but it was enough. The fact I ended up finding love again with him was a just a bonus.”

“We’ll never let you be alone Lando,” Dan murmured in his ear, “We’ve got you, we always will.”

“Besides,” Max grinned, “If you need one of us to go and punch Carlos for you, then I’ve had plenty of practise punching Ferrari pricks. I could do with practising my boxing skills anyway.”

“Max!” Pierre whacked him on the arm, shaking his head fondly, “No punching Carlos. Do you want to get into trouble with the FIA again!”

“Don’t risk it Maxy,” Dan said, a dangerous expression forming on his face, “It won’t be you that will be doing the punching that’s going to be my job.”

“Dan, No! You don’t have to do that for me,” Lando said quickly, twisting in Dan’s arms and looking up at him frantically “I don’t want any of you to get into trouble.”

Dan softened at the sight, “Are you sure? It would be justified if you did?”

“Don’t,” Lando said, “It won’t change anything anyway, especially if it was me. If I wasn’t good enough,” Dropping his head, he murmured, “I don’t want any of you having problems just because of me.”

“Lando,” all three of said at once, sharing a glance with Dan, Pierre let him continue, and distracted Max by snuggling into his side.

“Lando, look at me,” Dan said, tilting his head up to face him. His deep brown orbs almost burning with fire. “I may be old compared to you lot,” a small smile appeared on Lando’s face at that comment that was just so Dan, “But I do know that you are not, and never were the problem. And what Carlos has lost is our gain.”

Lando’s eyes flicked back and forth over his face, pain, confusion, and hope visible.

Leaning forward and pressing another kiss to his forehead, Dan smiled, “How about we all get into this bed, put a film on, order some room service and just have a night of friends and comfort. Sound like a plan?”

“Sounds like a good one,” Lando shakily smiled, curling into Dan’s side as he laid down and reached for the remote, pulling him with him. Max and Pierre also shifting down behind.

Resting his head on Dan's shoulder, and turning his head to face the screen as Dan brought up Netflix and began flicking through the options, Max debating his every other choice, Lando lost himself in his thoughts momentarily.

He could admit he didn’t know much sometimes, and that he could be slightly oblivious. It was one of the reasons Carlos actions had caught him so off guard and made him so emotionally vulnerable today in the first place, but there was something he did know. He knew that with Daniel Ricciardo he would always feel safe, and he would always be protected. He sighed contently as Dan pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead again and he snuggled deeper into his hold, feeling Max turn around behind him to face Pierre and pull him into his arms as well.

As Dan reached behind him and pressed the buttons to close the automatic blinds and turn the lights off, plunging them all into darkness to watch the movie, Lando sighed and snuggled into his chest contentedly, feeling Dan's hand brush down his back in response as he got comfortable. He wasn't ready for another relationship. Not at all, and it would probably take some time before he could even consider it. But with the way Dan was treating him, the way he was looking at him, as though he mattered. As though he was someone worth fighting for, there was the possibility of the future. And that was enough for now.

**Author's Note:**

> As always kudos and comments are greatly appreciated 🧡🧡
> 
> Feel free to come and talk to me on tumblr at kyoukai-kanata (http://kyoukai-kanata.tumblr.com)
> 
> Oh and just in case anyone was wondering, no I haven't broken up with anyone. These are just some thoughts from a bad place, that turned into a fic 🙂


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